Do You Know How Long It Takes Before We Die?
by Megoostation
Summary: Bella Swan is depressed over Edward leaving her. She has a nightmare that keeps her from going to school. SongFic Fear of Flyng by A Rocket To The Moon.


A deep grumbling sigh escaped my lips, my eyes staring down at a film strip of pictures Edward and I took in a photo booth not to long before he left me.

Right in my hands, four tiny, black and white painted photos. The first visual, a pretty nice picture of both of us sitting side by side, serious faces. Edward's cold arm wrapped around my shoulder, a small smile escaping my lips. We both looked happy and we both looked in love. The next two pictures were the humorous of the four. Eyes crossed, tongues hanging out of our mouths, bunny ears up, that sort of thing. Still, we both looked happy and he of course looked amazing. The last picture was the hardest thing to look at. There I was, a small grin dancing across my face, a look a pure, genuine happiness, and there he was, his cold arms thrown around me, his cold lips pressed against my temple.

I can still remember that day so vividly. The look on Edward's face could light up a room, and quite frankly, Edward lit up my life but instead he left.

I choked back on the tears that were threatening to spill over my lids, catching myself out of that horrible faze and shoved the filmstrip back into my dresser drawer.

Hiding the memories of the past that hurts me so much. Quickly, I grabbed my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and wiping my face of the little drops that escaped my eyes like prisoners on the run. I walked downstairs slowly, carefully so I didn't fall and make a scene. Although I felt horrible and not up to going to school, and I still had to put up an act, to make everyone else feel better for me. I picked up the keys to my truck, heading out the door swiftly, not saying bye to my father or anything. Of course, it was lightly sprinkling rain and of course, it was colder then ever imaginable outside.

I hurried, quickly unlocking the driver door to my truck and sliding inside the freezing cab, slamming the door shut behind me and placing my keys into the ignition. Before I could get driving I had to warm the cab up, there was no possible way my tears from earlier were going to turn into icicles. I quickly turned the keys, making the loud thunder crack from my motor wake pretty much anyone who was still sleeping in the neighborhood. My hands went from my keys to the dials for the heater, fidgeting and turning the levers and knobs up for heat, waiting almost impatiently for the heat to arrive so I can drive myself to school without turning into Frosty. Once again, I sighed, feeling overwhelmingly sick, my body, overwhelmingly numb because of the harsh temperature my truck lowered to overnight. I slumped over, my head resting down on the dashboard and I closed my eyes, wishing and hoping for the air blowing out the vents to eventually turn into heat I could remember from when I was back in Phoenix.

Everything was white. The walls, the windows, the chairs, everyone's clothes, my clothes, everything. Pure white. I was sitting in one of the many seats that were lined in rows and columns, my eyes darting around as people I have never seen in my life all entered, taking seats that were scattered. I tried focusing but couldn't, everything was so, different then what I was use to. Did I die? Was I in heaven? Oh, of course not. I don't think I will be able to go there, even if I believed in it. I wanted to stand up, but couldn't. I wanted so bad to run away from this white hell, but couldn't. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't have a single clue what was going to happen. I didn't even know where I was, that's the scary thing. All the people gathered and all took seats, I had hundreds of strangers surrounding me. All sitting with their heads down, eyes shut, their hands in their laps. I was scared. I tilted my head to the man in white next to me."Do you know where we are?" I whispered, my voice shaky, pretty much showing my fear. My eyes barely looked over at him, his eyes seemed to be shut too."Why yes." This man's voice seemed monotone, almost like a robot's. "We are on a plane." His words seemed to calm me down for the simple fact that now I knew we were on an airplane, but for some reason, I was afraid to fly. Almost in a panic, I tipped my head to the side and I whispered to another man who was in isle. "Do you know how long it takes before we die?" I said, without thinking my words rolled right out of my mouth. The man in white turned to me, his eyes flickering open, black was all I could see. No color, no whites, just black, like a hungry, human hunting vampire.

I jolted up, my head slamming on the dashboard of my truck then popping back up, a frantic scream escaping my lips. My heart was racing faster then it normally does when I wake up from a usual nightmare in the middle of the night. My frantic, stiff and scared eyes wandered around, my body sitting stiff against the seat of my truck. My window shield was blurred with raindrops and of course, the sound of raindrops beating against the top of my cab. I sighed, almost in shakes.

At least the heat was coming out of the vents, but there was no way in hell I was going to school, absolutely not.

I pulled the keys out of the ignition, quickly grabbing a hold of my bag and opening the door, jumping out into the rain and slamming the door shut, heading for cover back inside my house.

I ran upstairs, entering my room and throwing down my bag and keys, almost in tears of anger. I quickly kicked off my boots and pulled off my white raincoat, heading over to my bed and slamming down on it.

I reached over to my nightstand, opening the single drawer and digging inside of it, not paying attention to what I was touching, just feeling around for something like a book.

Finally, I had my hand on it, grabbing it and pulling it from it's hiding.

My spiral bound journal, the one that I never used, never wrote in, never even thought about writing in until now.

I sighed, shutting the drawer and grabbing one of my pens off my nightstand, opening the journal to the first page. A clean, white piece of paper with lines for the writing.

I laid back against my pillow, clicking the pen so I could start writing.

I knew journals were for writing pretty much anything in. Poems, songs, stories, diary entrees, dreams, anything.

So before I knew it, I started writing. Writing the first thing that came to my mind, Edward.

"I stop my breathing every time I'm around you. My body sweats and my hands start to shake. I know you can't control your eyes but I know that you're looks are fake.

You teased me once but I swear I forgot how it feels when I've go another left. I'll take it slow and only work at it sometimes." I sighed, tears escaping and sliding down my cheek.

This hurt, this really hurt.I continued writing. "Can you take me back to the person I use to be? Back when you were there for me. I know it seems like forever but do me this favor please."

Once again, I sniffled. I could feel my usual sobbing coming on.

I didn't want to break, but I was going to and nothing was stopping me now.

My hand reached up for my face, wiping the tears that already ran down my face and onto my chin, along with catching the tears that were going to fall almost any moment.

Quickly I scribbled down a few more lines, remembering the film strip I was looking at earlier. "I took a picture with a boy I once knew. I kept it here it case I'd run into him. The look on his face could light up a room but instead he left."

Quickly, before reading back the words I wrote and I slammed the journal shut, chucking it onto my bedroom floor and turning onto my stomach, my face burying into my pillow, and my sobs taking control.


End file.
